She has so many things to say, so many feelings that she wanted you to know but in all her honesty, she doesn’t know how and where to start a conversation with you. Should she start by saying all the thank you’s like she usually does? Should she start with just a simple “Hi” and “How are you?” or should she start directly with both of your personal issues? She doesn’t know. So please let me be her voice that she kept down to her core for a long time now. Both of you have been great together; she won’t deny it. You’re fighting most of the time but sure there were great memories that make her feel great every time she thinks of it. It’s normal in every relationship to argue over little things, over big things. It’s okay to cry—to let your partner know how you feel. They say it’s healthy and it will make you and the relationship grow; as if every fight is for the betterment of all factors to make a relationship work. She thought that too. She believed it’ll make both of you happier in the future; but no matter how hard she tries to think and believe that your fights will make your relationship grow, deep inside she just feels herself sluggishly dying and rotting. Maybe she should already stop the blaming part. Maybe she should ask for your forgiveness. Forgive her for she is now weak. She has been at her weakest ever since the day you left. She became weaker and weaker each day passing without her knowing fully your whereabouts. Your good mornings, your “I hope you already ate” every meal time, and your good night texts where enough. They were, she swears. But she came to a point that she didn’t feel anything from those good morning and good night text messages anymore. Those text messages were just plain text messages. They were lying flat, thin and light like a paper. Forgive her for she couldn’t take everything anymore that she had to let you go and finally gave up on you—on whatever you people have. She was so hurt that she doesn’t know if by now, there’s still something left for her. She feels so empty—like a lonely ghost who wanders and nowhere else to go. She doesn’t know how and where to begin again. She really doesn’t understand what to feel or if she can still feel something again. Forgive her for getting used to everything that the whole thing seemed all right. She knows she doesn’t care anymore. Though she knows at the back of her head, the things happening between you and she are terrible. She doesn’t seem to care about it any longer. Why? Because she has lost all her energy and her vigor that she couldn’t bother more to care and do something about it. She feels so worn-out that she doesn’t have enough strength to fight for that relationship. She has been fighting in this battle alone and in every battle, she become wounded, she become sick, and blood from her eyes fall rapidly to the ground. And maybe, just maybe, that day came and she just thought, “Hey, I should give up. I should start saving myself”. Forgive her if she has loved you. Forgive her if she believed in every word you say. Forgive her if this love has caused you too much pain, too much hopes; and forgive her if this love gave both of you a great deal of unreachable dreams. Forgive her if this love made her something she’s not. Forgive her if the love she knew was not the love you needed. SHARE THIS ARTICLE: |
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'es-theet' (n.) A person who affects great love of art, music, poetry, etc., and indifference to practical matters. El Esthete or The Aesthete in English, is where I share my Literary works, artworks, and everything else in between. Categories:
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